Wednesday, August 5, 2009

I turned myself in!

The Whitehouse

Well, I did it. I turned myself in. I learned from Fox News about the White House Blog that drew fire for suggesting that its supporters send in e-mails to turning in e-mails, rumors, or even casual conversations with "fishy information" about HR 3200, the Health Care Reform bill. Well, I'm as full of fishy information as anyone so I turned myself in and sent this e-mail to the above address:

Dear flag (whoever you are),
I hereby turn myself in for holding "fishy notions" about HR 3200, the supposed "health care reform" bill. I have the fishy notion that you want to control as much of every one's life from cradle to grave as possible. Don't worry, I didn't get that notion from reading the 1,100 page bill. Heaven knows I would never take a step that other reps in Congress would not bother to take. But I hear some say that the bill contains provisions to provide govt. funding for abortions. We'll never know till the bill passes (largely unread) and such actions are taken to crank up increased "family planning" procedures. I also hear that there may be population control measures implied in the bill (also unknowable unless one reads the bill and interprets the legalese within it.) And speaking of wackiness, someone said the bill contains language to encourage the elderly to just go ahead and drop dead and do us all a favor, some kind of "end of life" counseling every five years. But we'll never know because no one will actually read the thing (certainly not me or anyone else in Congress for that matter.) Some also declare, in a fishy, wacky way, that major funding for this bill will come from discovering savings in the Medicare program meaning that we will begin rationing health care services to the elderly in this country. Oh well, it's gotta come from somewhere, and after all, we will be counseling them to take advantage of some "end of life" options anyway. Kudos for working hard to take over another 1/6th of the American economy. Well, there you have it, I have more "fishy" ideas, but I won't take time to bore you with them here. At any rate, like the good, compliant citizen I am, I hereby turn myself in to you. So, flag ol' boy, what do you plan to do about it? I know you're already watching me, after all, I've been to a "tea" party or two. I'm one of those "right wing wackos" who just might infiltrate into a town hall meeting and stir up something irrational and, well, fishy! Oh yes, I've carried a sign or two at protest meetings, a real nut job, eh? And yes, I plan to keep it up as long as the first amendment stays in place to protect my right to be as fishy as I choose to be. Sincerely, Citizen Ed

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